Edited by Isalee
The current situation was very critical.
I scrolled through my phone, excited, anxious, and emotional.
All my hopes to successfully gain back territory relied on this battle!
This was the situation.
Although this apartment was not big, there clearly were three rooms. However, Gu Yiliang insisted on inviting me to share a room with him, which was the master bedroom with an ensuite. Say, what were his intentions?
Although there was nothing special about two men sharing a bed.
Although the pyjamas he prepared for me were very conservative and covered me fully.
Although I had also peeped into the other two rooms, and they were completely empty, with no beds at all.
However, I still firmly believed that his intentions were to flirt and take away whatever happy beans I was left with.
Right at this moment, he was in the bathroom, showering. Due to his courteousness, I was already done with my shower. Using the toothbrush he had bought from the convenience store, I finished washing up and lay on the bed dressed tidily in my pyjamas.
The pattering sound of water hitting the tiles could be heard. On average, I would look at my phone for fifteen seconds, then anxiously turn to glance at the bathroom door.
I knew about this plot, I had read it before in a fanfiction.
Later on, he would open the bathroom door. With only a towel wrapped around his bottom half, he would dry his hair roughly with another soft towel. Deliberately, yet casually, he would put his well-defined abdominal muscles on display, and the beads of water from his wet hair would roll down his muscular chest, down to his abs, before sliding into the hidden area concealed by his towel. Just like this, what was left of my happy beans would all be collected from me.
Since I knew the plot, could I still let him get his way?
Of course not.
So what I needed to do was, the moment he opened the bathroom door, I would take the first strike and knock him out by flirting with him to the point where he would be overwhelmed, lose control, and be unable to take care of himself.
With the plot in my hand, I had all the power. To put it bluntly, it was to see who could flirt harder than the other, and I was certain that I would definitely excel at this!
There would be a chance for success as long as I tried. This time around, his happy beans were definitely mine!
I had to win this round!
I scrolled through my phone madly, swiftly browsing through articles such as “Tips on How to Flirt With A Straight Guy”, “I Have Special Tricks on Deliberately Flirting With A Straight Guy” and “How to Flirt With a 100% Straight Man”.
— Then, in disappointment, I realised that none of them could be used.
What I needed was something with a formidable visual impact! Something graphic! Something expressive! Something exciting! The sort that was like a punch in the face! Something powerful! Baidu, do you get it, do you understand?!
Listening to the sound of running water in the bathroom fading away and then stopping, I anxiously browsed through boundless cyberspace. A few keywords caught my eye: sexiest, most adorable, most alluring, most seductive, straight guys can never resist — w-sitting1.
My eyes continued downwards, sliding over countless related images. Sure enough, the effect was not too bad, and I did like how it looked.
So, Pikachu, I choose you!
Over the past few days, I was about to turn stupid from Gu Yiliang’s flirtations, yet I had never seen his expression of being flirted with at all. Today was the day I had to see it!
Overjoyed, I rolled around the bed. Lifting up my hands, I undid two buttons on my pyjama top, then facing the bathroom door, I separated my legs and kneeled—
I tried to seat myself down a little, then tried again.
Why could I not sit down?!
Again, I unlocked my phone and scanned the pages.
What did it mean by men cannot do this pose?
What did it mean by the structure of the male pelvis was different?
What did it mean by men would usually be unable to do a w-seat?
When I was seven years old, I was the sort of person who would go and catch an earthworm and cut it after hearing my science teacher say that cutting an earthworm in two would create two earthworms. Would I believe in this nonsense?
Seeing the bathroom door slowly open, I adjusted my expression, and forced myself down—
In the midst of drying his hair, Gu Yiliang froze. With a puzzled expression, he looked at me on the bed, sitting in a distorted posture with a strange painful expression and sweating heavily.
I could no longer feel the lower half of my body. With empty eyes, I looked at him weakly, as well as the long-sleeved pyjamas he was wearing neatly.
Me: Is there an ambulance?
Me: Are you there?
Me: This time, I really need one.
As I left the consultation room, staggering and unsteady, together with Gu Yiliang who was half-embracing and half-supporting me, Lil Chen who had been hastily summoned gave me a complicated look.
Lil Chen opened his mouth, wanting to speak. I shot him a vicious glare.
Lil Chen’s lips moved slightly. I shot him two vicious glares.
Lil Chen stopped for a while, before his lips started moving slightly again. I pierced him countless times with my vicious glares.
Lil Chen stopped for a while, and once again, his lips started moving slightly. I—
Gu Yiliang blocked my view.
Lil Chen: “Not that I want to criticise you, but why did you guys come to such a big hospital why didn’t you guys restrain yourself let me look at your medical record did you guys make a mistake why are you at the orthopedics department shouldn’t you be at the gastroen—”
Ignoring the pain in my pelvis, I covered his mouth.
Hastily chased off, Lil Chen took my medical records and vanished from my sight.
With my heart like ashes, I turned to look at Gu Yiliang. “See? There’s nothing, right? I already said that there’s no need to come to the hospital…”
Gu Yiliang seemed as though he wanted to laugh, but dared not do so, and his body was sliced up by my sharp gaze.
He gave a dry cough, putting on a proper expression and saying, “With a diagnosis, you can request for leave from the crew, and rest for a couple of days in the hotel. I’ll bring my computer over for you to play?”
That was going to create trouble for others, and it would also delay the filming process. In this case, how would Niangzi be able to continue working? And my happy beans…
In my heart, a tiny figure narrowed his eyes.
Helpless and pitiful, I looked at Gu Yiliang. Clutching at his shirt, I asked softly, “Will you accompany me then?”
Gu Yiliang’s hand that was around me tightened slightly as he agreed.
— Eh eh?
A smile appeared on the tiny figure’s face.
I lowered my lids, saying quietly, “But that will delay your filming.”
Gu Yiliang’s grip was still tight, and he did not let go. With a low voice, he spoke, “I’ll accompany you once I’m done filming for the day.”
— Eh eh eh?
The smile on the face of the tiny figure gradually became more abnormal.
Smoothing out the wrinkles on his shirt that had been caused by my grip, I continued speaking quietly. “Then would it affect your memorisation of the script?”
Gu Yiliang’s arm that was around me stiffened a little, and his voice sounded a little unnatural. “… It won’t.”
— Eh eh eh eh?
Was this what Gu Yiliang looked like when he was being flirted with?
Happy beans were now cascading into my account!
So it turned out that this fellow went for the innocent, pitiful sort!
He should have said so earlier!
In my heart, I was laughing loudly, but on the surface, I put on a gentle, graceful and considerate image. “Then you can memorise your lines when you’re accompanying me. I can even prompt you.”
In an instant, Gu Yiliang seemed to have put down a burden that weighed a thousand tons. His arm had relaxed too, and he exhaled in relief as he smiled. “Oh, sure. As long as I don’t have to accompany you in playing games.”
Fuck you and your family!!
Shaking him off, I turned away and walked off, only for my feet to stop due to the throbbing pain at my pelvis.
Gu Yiliang took a couple of steps forward, supporting me again. He could not hold back his laughter. “— You still need to practice your acting. Your emotions are not there yet.”
A second injury! Referee! He’s fouling me a second time!
No, wait, three times! He mocked my acting skills as well!
Return my paramecium Gu Yiliang to me! I don’t want this cunning, crafty version!
I ground my teeth in hate, rolling my eyes all the way to Siberia.
Amused, he pinched my cheek. “I have yet to ask you why you were torturing yourself for fun.”
Smacking his hand away, I huffed, “You said it yourself. There was nothing to do, and so I was bored enough to challenge the limits of the human body. Can’t I do that?”
He started laughing again, the sort where he could not stop.
Seeing that he was about to curl on the ground laughing, I warned him with a dangerous expression. “That’s enough.”
With great difficulty, he stopped laughing as he massaged his cheeks. “You can’t even lift me up, so why are you thinking about challenging the limits of a human body?”
For how long was he going to remember that embarrassing incident?!
A man should neither be killed nor humiliated! Gnashing my teeth, I made a solemn oath. “Just you wait, after a couple more days, when I recover, if I can’t lift you up, my surname isn’t Wei!”
“Oh?” Cocking a brow, he smiled as he ruffled my hair. With a soft and gentle voice, he said, “Is Yanyan that eager to take my surname?”
I clearly fucking knew that he was playing the moral card.
I clearly fucking knew that he was referring to me becoming his son, not his husband.
But why were my happy beans still rapidly decreasing in numbers there weren’t that many left please I beg you be merciful don’t flirt anymore leave me a way out!
Wah wah wah why exactly did I want to take this pelvis-hurting step?!!
We were all from the same company but why was the gap between us so big?!!
Feeling indignant and grievous, I said, “You!”
Amusement was on his face. “Me?”
I gritted my teeth. “If you continue like this!”
Curiosity was on his face. “If I continue like this?”
Me: “… I’ll sing for someone else!!!”