Chapter 20 — A Midnight Trip to the Hospital
Edited by Tin
Jiang Yuqian did not stay the night. He left Block 5 and immediately headed straight for Block 2, where Cheng Zixu lived. There were some things that shouldn’t always be so vague and muddled.
On this confusing night, he was keen to fix this complicated relationship among the three of them.
Kick out the nutcase, and from three, it’ll become two. This was what he thought.
Standing outside the door, he first knocked on it a few times, but there was no response. He then called him, and very quickly, dressed in lounge clothes of a sky blue, Cheng Zixu walked over to open the door, his eyes bleary.
“It’s so late already. Why did you come over?” The person opening the door rubbed his eyes, trying to make himself wake up quickly.
Jiang Yuqian abruptly wrapped his arms around the person in front of him, with the exact same arms that Zhou Hao had just been lying in, and hugged the person tightly.
“Go out with me.”
Cheng Zixu did not push Jiang Yuqian away. He was like a little bird, huddling in Jiang Yuqian’s embrace. However, right now, it was still difficult for him to accept what was happening right now, and he said the same thing he did previously, “I haven’t thought things through yet.”
Jiang Yuqian let him go, tears burning in his eyes, and with the force of a storm, he kissed him.
Unlike the previous time, where it was merely a soft brush of the lips, this time, he was like a demanding predator, wringing out every little bit of wetness from the other’s mouth, taking it bit by bit into his own.
The desire intense, and his mouth travelled from Cheng Zixu’s mouth, down across his shoulders, to his clavicle…
“Don’t do this!” Cheng Zixu pushed away the mad man.
Both people were panting slightly, and the confusion in Jiang Yuqian’s eyes had turned feverish. With bloodshot eyes, he said, “Do you know what I’ve done, all for you…”
Cheng Zixu had yet to recover from the frenzy, and on his lips was still evidence of having been ravished.
Jiang Yuqian had already turned and walked away.
So late at night, he desperately wanted to define their relationship, and he desperately wanted to get rid of this relationship of three. He was afraid that he would give in to the sex, to the point where he was in too deep, afraid that he would slowly become used to that nutcase, and completely forget about love.
From when did this started happening? It was that time when Zhou Hao went to Taishui and nearly died. In his heart, he discovered a budding of affection.
He would feel happy that the nutcase had escaped death. Despite stating that they were breaking up, in his heart, he desired the nutcase’s unwillingness to say goodbye. He even thought before about hiding Zhou Hao away, and just not let Cheng Zixu see him.
Such dark and muddled thoughts were betrayals of morals and ethics, and he could only think about them, without any way of actually carrying them out.
His car was still parked below Block 5, and when he walked back, about to retrieve his car, he looked up to see how many lights were still switched on in the entire building. On the fifth floor balcony, he saw Zhou Hao, who was looking down.
Their eyes, through the distance between heaven and earth, with one on top and the other below, met.
Jiang Yuqian again returned to the apartment, and hearing the sounds, Zhou Hao walked from the balcony over to the living room.
Both had secrets from the other.
“You went to look for Cheng Zixu? What did he say?” Zhou Hao asked casually.
In an instant, from an unfocused gaze, Jiang Yuqian gathered all his attention onto Zhou Hao’s face. He found himself understanding less and less of this person.
Grinning, Zhou Hao mocked, “He didn’t agree, right?”
His eyes half-lidded, Jiang Yuqian did not answer.
Feeling a little exhausted from this, Zhou Hao sat on the couch, lighting a cigarette. Amidst the smoke, his nerves were numb. Sounding just like an old, weary man, he continued mocking the person in front of him. “Just look at you. You’d rather give up on your easy life, and instead chase after something that will only cause you suffering. Say, are you just seeking to debase yourself?”
Pretending to be generous, pretending not to care, and only he himself could hear the sound of his heart splintering into the tiniest fragments, cracking and shattering. Listening to it, the shards fractured a thousand times more.
In the living room was a silence as still as stagnant water. The two people seemed to have reached a tacit agreement, and both remained quiet, neither speaking.
It was already very late into the night. Extinguishing his cigarette, Zhou Hao wanted to return to his room to sleep.
“I don’t care anymore.”
It was as though his tone was directed to a wastrel who never returned home, wishing that the man would come back, but he was resigned to whatever happened.
Abruptly, his hand was caught tightly by Jiang Yuqian. Zhou Hao’s heart nearly stopped, and he looked up, asking with ridicule, “I’m going to bed. What are you doing?”
Gazing at him with his deep-set eyes, Jiang Yuqian was both troubled and melancholic. “I don’t get it.”
“You not getting it, what does it have to do with me?” Zhou Hao shrugged off his grip forcefully, and he laughed. “Don’t tell me, you want me to teach you how to woo that sissy?”
His every word was inlaid with thorns, piercing keenly through him.
Jiang Yuqian did not reply. Instead, he dragged Zhou Hao into the bedroom, throwing him onto the bed.
“What fucking madness are you descending to this time?!” Zhou Hao exploded, struggling to sit up from the bed.
Jiang Yuqian leant down and again pushed the person on the bed down. He trapped both his wrists, climbing onto him…
The initial unwillingness and reluctance later turned into moans and whimpers, long melted under that person’s crude gentleness. The motions great, it was as though Zhou Hao was clinging onto a piece of life-saving wood, sinking into the sea of desire.
His eyes red, his heart torn, every inch of Zhou Hao’s body was convulsing, was twitching…
At this very moment, there was no one else who was more panicked than he was.
When he was in grade three of primary school, the entire class agreed to collect money for a class outfit to participate in the school’s recitation competition. Everyone would be wearing a round-necked t-shirt with cuffed sleeves, and the boys would be dressed in shorts, and the girls skirts. He went home, asking his mother for money, but his mother refused.
After that, all his classmates were having fun, happily dressed in their neat and clean clothes on stage, while he wore his dirty and shabby uniform, hiding behind the curtains backstage, watching them pitifully…
Hubby, look at how mean she is. She’s indebted to me, she did me wrong…
So, can you…
Treat me nicely…
Not be like my mother…
Floating on the surging, turbulent seas, the waves crashed down on him, attacking him. A woman dressed in pink, far away, gradually drifted even farther. No matter how he tried, he couldn’t grab hold of her. He could only clutch onto the piece of driftwood in front of him with all his might… bobbing, swaying, in this endless sea, he bobbed and he swayed…
The one holding people hostage had never been him, Jiang Yuqian, but himself, he, who was all alone in the world! He handed his life that his mother did not care for over to Jiang Yuqian, but this person also did not care for it.
Who else in the world would care for him…
The imagery in his mind stopped along with the motions of the person above him.
After such an intense round, there was blood coming out from Zhou Hao’s backside. It seemed like there was a tear in his anus.
It was a startling red, dying the bedclothes into a small sea of red. Calming himself down, Zhou Hao stared at the patch of red, dazed.
Jiang Yuqian wiped the sticky, viscous fluids messily off his body. Leaning into the mouth of the pitiful curled up body next to him, he kissed him apologetically.
Zhou Hao did not respond. He blinked, tilting his head up, and the light shining into his eyes momentarily transformed into the pink of his childhood. Again, he tried his best to blink, and now appeared the little building in the south, and the drizzles that often happened there.
Crouching by the head of the bed, Jiang Yuqian felt an immense sense of guilt. He did not understand why this person always liked to stare at the bright white light of the ceiling.
Once again, he followed Zhou Hao’s line of sight, but he still saw nothing.
“I’ll take you to the hospital.”
Zhou Hao huddled tightly on the bed, not moving in the slightest. Very quickly, the tremendous sorrow in his chest swelled out, and he trapped his sobs tightly behind his lips, only for them to burst out. In the middle of the night, he choked on his tears…
He whimpered, “Hubby, I miss my father…”
Jiang Yuqian never expected that he would be like this. This person had always been very prideful, and he never conceded no matter what, so stubborn that it made one both angry and resentful.
Looking at this, he started panicking, and his focus was gone. He could only press kisses all over the face of the person in front of him.
There was nothing better than the contact between lips to make up for his rash and impetuous mistakes.
The tears slipped into his mouth, salty and acrid. Coaxing and wheedling, he said, “Haohao, be good. Why don’t we go to the hospital for a checkup?”
Never did he expect that his words would make Zhou Hao cry even harder, the heaving sobs making his face twist in an ugly manner…
Exhausted from crying, Zhou Hao’s eyes were red, and the look in his eyes seemed to belong to a patient who had experienced a mental breakdown, clammy and venomous. “Hug me…”
Jiang Yuqian leant over and embraced him.
In the middle of the night, at the emergency department, the doctor took a quick look at the injury, then looked back at the two men who came together, and he pretty much connected the dots. With professionalism and ethics in mind, the doctor managed to control his expression very well, and looking down at his pad, he started filling in the case details.
“There’s a bit of a tear behind, and stitches are required. You’ll need to take some NSAIDs as well.”
The two people took the prescription to pay the bill. It happened to be summer, and there were more people coming to the hospital for acute gastritis. Hence there was quite a number of people in the queue.
Jiang Yuqian situated Zhou Hao in a seat along the corridor. Following behind a crowd, he joined the queue.
After making the payment, Jiang Yuqian turned and walked back.
Standing in front, he looked at the end of the corridor, and he saw—
Zhou Hao was slumped in his chair, his wrists hanging down loosely across the armrests. From afar, his usually tall and broad figure looked very, very small, and he huddled in a ball, lonely and bereft.
Feeling as though his heart had just been pierced by a needle, Jiang Yuqian hurried over. He crouched down, patting gently at the tired man.
Zhou Hao opened his eyes, fatigue suffusing his face. “Have you paid the bill?”
After the stark and lethargic conversation, Jiang Yuqian helped him up. He asked a nurse where were they supposed to go for the stitching, and she pointed at the sixth door on the left.
Feeling extremely stifled, Zhou Hao removed his mask. Arriving at the procedure room, Zhou Hao entered, while Jiang Yuqian waited outside.
Upon entering, he immediately regretted taking off the mask. It was actually his classmate inside.
At that very moment, Zhou Hao wanted nothing more but to dig a hole and bury himself inside. He handed over the treatment invoice, not saying a word.
Li Xiao took the piece of paper. “It’s so late. What happened?”
“There was blood in my stools after going to the toilet. The doctor just now said I needed stitches.”
“Let me take a look.”
Zhou Hao did not react at all, behaving just like a puppet given instructions. Removing his pants, he lay down across the examination table, holding his buttocks slightly apart.
“This doesn’t look like haemorrhoids?”
“It’s not, I only just bled a little during my bowel movement.”
Li Xiao applied some numbing gel on him, then performed a few simple stitches on the wound.
After pulling his pants back up, Zhou Hao thanked him then dragged Jiang Yuqian out of the hospital.
For the rest of the night, Jiang Yuqian did not head home. The two of them stayed in the apartment, sleeping until the sun rose up.
Perhaps due to wanting the assuage the guilt he was feeling, this night, Jiang Yuqian was very much gentler towards Zhou Hao.
Why was he feeling guilty?
For having caused such an injury while seeking his desires.
For planning to forsake him, and turning the relationship of three to two.
Within a few days, the news of Zhou Hao being a homosexual spread through the small school circle. People were talking about how someone in the medical school was a homosexual, how his night activity had caused a tear in his anus, and how he was even sent to the hospital, describing it as though they were there themselves. Everyone only listened to it in amusement, and none believed it fully.
Of course, Sun Yiwen heard about it as well.