Chapter 20 — Ji Meng is really handsome!
Superstitions Redeem Misfortune!
Edited by Planetes
This catching game of elementary school students would always have a moment where they ran out of energy to chase each other. The two fell onto the ground next to each other, blue skies and white clouds above them, and below them were green grass.
Feeling all warm and cozy under the sunlight, Ling Xiaolu was so comfortable that he did not want to open his eyes. “Hmm?”
“Has anyone ever told you that you look very nondescript?”
“No, I mean, has anyone said that your appearance is easily forgettable?”
Ling Xiaolu was angry. “If you have opinions about my appearance, you can tell me directly! Don’t blame ‘anyone’!”
Ji Meng was anxious. “I didn’t mean it that way!”
“Anyway, so what if I look ordinary? At least it’s my own face, not like your plastic one!”
“What plastic?” Ji Meng was baffled.
“I’m not talking to you anymore, my seeds have matured.” Ling Xiaolu shot him an arrogant expression then ran off to check the results of his labour.
The seeds with the name “???” finally matured, producing an even larger gold question mark.
Ling Xiaolu reached out to pick it. The moment his fingertips touched the question mark, a chat box appeared right in front of his eyes.
<Your mystery seed is now mature, do you want to pick it?>
The question mark glowed a bright gold, the light glittered, gradually becoming more intense. When it became eye-piercing, it started dimming.
Where the question mark was was now a somewhat familiar sunflower waving its arms enchantingly, lifting its head and sticking out its long tongue at Ling Xiaolu.
Ling Xiaolu: …
“Isn’t this my shifu’s sunflower? … Oh wait, this is a lot smaller than his.”
The mini sunflower that was at least one time smaller pressed its leaves onto the ground, pushing itself up with great force, and freed itself from the restraints of the soil. At the same time, its roots transformed into thorny branches, and it was completely a mini version of Li Zheng’s sunflower.
“What… can this do?”
This was the first time Ji Meng saw this too. Before knowing Ling Xiaolu, his yard had only been a decorative piece.
“I don’t know.” He suddenly paused. “Why is there one more behind it?”
Closely following the first mini sunflower, from the ground popped out the second, the third… Countless little sunflowers momentarily rushed out of the ground, forming very long rows, then gathered in a large circle with the two people in the center, simultaneously sticking out their long tongues at them with a “leilu leilu”.
“What sort of things did you grow?!” Ji Meng was shocked. How were these sunflowers? They were invasive cancerous sunflowers!
Ling Xiaolu was panicking as well. He watched as the sunflowers continued propagating, with no intentions of stopping. “How would I know?! Do you have a sack?”
Ji Meng disdainfully kicked away a sunflower that was trying to climb onto him. “Why would I have a sack?!”
“Quick, think of something!” All Ling Xiaolu could hear was the sound of their tongues wagging. Even if he covered his ears, he still became giddy from what he saw, and he was only a step away from fainting at the scene.
Ji Meng started to gather electricity.
“Not this!” Ling Xiaolu was about to turn crazy. “Have you ever seen plants be afraid of electricity?!”
In the end, Ji Meng got an enormous fishing net from somewhere, and the two people started playing hide and seek with all the sunflowers. One was chasing, and the other was trapping them, tossing them into the net when caught. However, the sunflowers were not stupid. Catching one would result in another slipping away. To catch an especially playful one, the two people crashed together heavily, wailing in extreme pain.
“See! See what you’ve done!” Ji Meng yelled as he held his head.
Ling Xiaolu was no better. He wailed, “No wonder shifu didn’t allow me to plant them, I finally understand why.”
After this half-hour battle of cleaning up, Ji Meng spent all his energy, and finally caught the last surviving sunflower.
“It’s the last one!” He huffed and puffed.
The sunflower gave a “leilululu”, licking Ji Meng’s face.
“AH!” He was so angry that he was about to throw it, and Ling Xiaolu quickly called out to stop him.
“Don’t throw it! We’ve finally managed to catch it!”
Suppressing his disgust, Ji Meng threw the thing in his hand into the net, and Ling Xiaolu quickly tied a knot at its mouth. The sunflowers that had been caught were still very naughty. Through the net, they stuck their tongues out continuously with a “leilululu”, and Ji Meng had the impulse to just light them on fire.
The two people fell sitting onto the ground, a wave of exhaustion sweeping over them.
“Couldn’t you have planted something normal?!” Ji Meng seemed to be in a slightly better state, with the ability to scold people.
“How would I know it would be like this?” Ling Xiaolu was aggrieved. “Are all the results of the seeds the same?”
“How can that be? It depends on the person planting it, understand? The person!”
“Then, then what should we do about the rest? Shall we shovel them out?”
“Shovel?” Ji Meng was angry. “You’ve already planted them all, just continue harvesting them!”
Ling Xiaolu: “What if an African tribal chief1 possesses me, and I still end up pulling something so shitty?”
“What if? Of course we’ll have to catch everything again!”
Seeing that Ji Meng actually did not blame him, and was even willing to continue catching sunflowers with him, Ling Xiaolu was moved.
Then he heard, “After catching them, we’ll look for a little dark room, and I’ll lock you in with them! For an entire day!”
Ling Xiaolu: …
What was he feeling moved for!
“Why don’t you try it, see if our luck will change.” Ling Xiaolu nudged Ji Meng.
Ji Meng looked down on gamers who were superstitious. He gave Ling Xiaolu a scornful look, but he still stood up and went to harvest a plant.
The moment the gold light shone, Ling Xiaolu was very nervous. Fortunately, this time round, after the glow receded the result was a little more boring, and nothing strange bounced out.
“It’s a red bean mochi pastry.” Ji Meng tossed it at him. “It’s edible.”
When Ling Xiaolu caught it, its description popped out. It was a food item that added a buff after consuming it. Finally, it was not a shitty item.
His courage bolstered, Ling Xiaolu rubbed his palms eagerly.
“My turn now.”
This time, Ling Xiaolu received six enlarging pills.
“It’s useless,” Ji Meng critiqued. “After eating it, the person or the pet will grow larger.”
Ling Xiaolu recalled the fake King Kong that made a surprise attack on him, then hurriedly kept the pills. “I think that they’re useful.”
“You…” Ji Meng recalled that he was someone with a past record. “You’re not allowed to eat it!”
Ling Xiaolu was speechless. “Do you think that I’m someone who eats whatever I see?”
“Are you not?” Ji Meng asked in reply.
Ling Xiaolu: … It seems that I really am!
“It’s time to announce the result of the next seed!” Ling Xiaolu clumsily changed the topic.
“Hmph.” Ji Meng could not be bothered to expose him.
Ling Xiaolu suddenly wondered, “Could there be some secret codeword or catchphrase, like shouting ‘Ji Meng is really handsome’ three times, that can increase the chances of getting something good?”
“Don’t be superstitious, how could it be possible!”
“I feel that it’s very probable. You’re the crown prince, and to please you, the programmers in your company secretly designed this code. For all you know, you yourself are not aware of it.”
Ji Meng really wanted to pull Ling Xiaolu’s ear up and take a look at what was inside his brain. “If you’re so creative, why don’t you be a programmer instead?”
Ling Xiaolu was stubborn. “How would you know if we don’t try?”
【Global】Lu Bi: Ji Meng is really handsome! Ji Meng is really handsome! Ji Meng is really handsome!
【Global】Player [Lu Bi] is harvesting a mystery seed, and has received [Interplanetary Gilding ore]!
Ling Xiaolu’s jaw dropped, looking at Ji Meng in astonishment. He did not know what this Interplanetary Gilding ore was, but for it to be announced on the global channel, it definitely had to be something good.
Ji Meng’s faith in logic received a blow. “What expression is that on your face! It’s only a coincidence, it’s luck!”
“You were the one who said it depends on the person!”
“I… I didn’t say it depended on me!”
“Is it not?” Ling Xiaolu had a daring hypothesis, and daringly sought to prove it. Each time before he harvested anything, he would shout three times on the global channel.
【Global】Lu Bi: Ji Meng is really beautiful! Ji Meng is really beautiful! Ji Meng is really beautiful!
【Global】Player [Lu Bi] is harvesting a mystery seed, and has received [Resurrection Grass]!
【Global】Lu Bi: Ji Meng is really cute! Ji Meng is really cute! Ji Meng is really cute!
【Global】Player [Lu Bi] is harvesting a mystery seed, and has received [Parting Claw Design]!
【Global】Lu Bi: Hubby is number one! Hubby is number one! Hubby is number one!
【Global】Player [Lu Bi] is harvesting a mystery seed, and has received [A Guide to Spirits and Ghosts]!
An uproar resounded on the global chat.
【Global】Qiao Luo: Oh my god what kind of luck is this?!
【Global】BWIP: GM! Reporting for hack!
【Global】Ru Feng: Gathering to absorb luck.
【Global】Hui Dudu: Me who had only harvested sunflowers would like to state my jealousy here.
【Global】Tiao Tiao: So here’s the question. In this situation where four draws in a row are insanely lucky, what is the critical point? A. Lu Bi’s fame that’s a buff; B. Li Zheng’s buff as his shifu; or C. Ji Meng’s handsome buff?
【Global】Chu Nan: Is there even a need to ask? Of course it’s C, why else would he need to shout it?
【Global】Er Dong: You superstitious things. I have a mature mystery seed here as well. I don’t believe that just by shouting a few phrases, I’ll be able to get something good!
【Global】Er Dong: Ji Meng is really handsome! Ji Meng is really handsome! Ji Meng is really handsome!
【Global】Player [Er Dong] is harvesting a mystery seed, and has received [Wind Pterosaur’s Scale]!
【Global】Er Dong: ……
After a short pause, messages flooded the screen like a waterfall.
【Global】Si Sui: Did you all record what Lu Bi said? Hurry up and take your notebooks out.
【Global】Hua Yuan: Great! I’ve always kept a mystery seed, never planting it. I’m going to plant it right now!
【Global】He Yang: Buying mystery seeds at high prices, PM me quickly!
【Global】Lu Bi: Crown Prince Ji is gorgeous! Crown Prince Ji is gorgeous! Crown Prince Ji is gorgeous!
The global chat suddenly fell silent. Everyone held their breath, waiting for the next miracle.
A moment later.
【Global】Lu Bi: Crown Prince Ji doesn’t work.
All the players: Got it!
Hands on his hips, Ling Xiaolu roared with laughter. “To think that there was once I believed in science and logic!”
Ji Meng wanted to object, but as there was no grounds of argument against it, he nearly got internally injured as he choked back his words.
The global chat again raised a furore. This time, it was messages coming from the members of the Ri-Dou-Culing You clan.
— Our little friend Lu Bi is so amazing! What amazing luck, we support you!
The people from Ri-Dou-Culing You were only chasing after him, wanting to kill him this morning. Now, they transformed into lackeys and flatterers, and people again started discussing this love-hate relationship between Lu Bi and Ri-Dou-Culing You.
The party involved, Ling Xiaolu, was also perplexed. “Is there something wrong with the brains of the people in Ri-Dou-Culing You?”
It was rare that Ji Meng held the same opinion as him. “Trying to curry favour like this, they’re either eyeing your body or your money.”
“Right, friend, how much do you know about Papa Dou?”
Ji Meng extremely despised the way Ling Xiaolu called him hubby when he needed him, and a friend when he did not, and he also was not happy that Ling Xiaolu was concerned over unrelated people.
“I’m not familiar with him. Why are you asking?”
“It’s enough that Papa Dou placed a bounty on me, yet he still sent people after me to kill me. Forget about sending people after me, he even involved innocent parties. I can tolerate innocent parties getting involved, but I cannot tolerate people coming after me to kill me.”
Ji Meng: … These words were normally not used like this.
Thoughts flashed rapidly across Ling Xiaolu’s mind, and only one glance was needed to know that he was up to no good. “Even if his attitude towards me has made a 180˚ major transformation, I must still think of a way to settle this account of trying to kill me.”
Ji Meng frowned. “I think I’ve heard others say it before, that Dou Kou is very generous when spending on himself, but very stingy towards others, even if it’s people from his own clan.”
“A benefactor that’s stingy…” A prank brewed in Ling Xiaolu’s head, his eyes unconsciously falling onto the net that was filled with hyperactive sunflowers.
Since they had been harvested, they naturally should be used. If not, it would be such a waste!
Ling Xiaolu suddenly grabbed Ji Meng’s arm in excitement. “Do you know how to dance?”
“Dance?” Ji Meng was a little panicky. “I don’t…”
“You’ve never danced before?”
“Only during a class performance…”
“You were conscripted, right?” Ling Xiaolu cut in. “I knew it, just looking at you. Your limbs are so long, you’ll definitely look very good dancing.”
“I-is that so?” When Ji Meng had been pulled to fill in the numbers, his classmates had also said the same thing. It seemed like Ling Xiaolu had a lot of experience in this area.
Ling Xiaolu pulled Ji Meng next to him without heeding any protest. “Make a few moves and let me see.”
Under Ling Xiaolu’s orders, Ji Meng did a few poses. He felt very stiff, but Ling Xiaolu could not stop praising him.
“The lines of your muscles are so smooth, it’s such a waste that you don’t dance.” He pinched Ji Meng’s arm. Ji Meng wore a soft, tight-fitting armour, and through it, the elasticity of his muscles could still be felt. “Do you go to the gym?”
The weather felt a little warm, or maybe Ji Meng’s sensitivity setting to his surroundings had been adjusted a little too high.
“Sometimes.” Ji Meng secretly resolved that he would go to the gym more often.
“I’m envious.” Ling Xiaolu rolled his sleeves up, showing Ji Meng his biceps.
“Mine are trained from dancing, but the results are only like this. Also, if I don’t practise for some time, they’ll disappear. I’m the sort that can barely build muscles.”
Ji Meng stared at the slightly bulging bicep, and he actually had the urge to nibble on it.
“We’ll agree on it then! The day after tomorrow, you’ll dance with me at the wedding of the commander!”
“Huh?” Ji Meng was lost. How did he end up agreeing?
“But it’s not enough with just the two of us. Do you know anyone else?”
Ji Meng fell silent for a moment. “I have no one else, but I have money.”
“… What’s the point of money?”
“With money, there’ll be people.”
Ten minutes later, in front of Ling Xiaolu stood a row of professional mercenaries. To have a unified image, all of them selected the same character model. Their figures were muscular, tall and sturdy, and only some details of their faces were different. Looking at their appearances, they were really the most suitable backup dancers.
“What can all of you do?” Ling Xiaolu asked.
The leader answered, “As long as there’s money, we can do anything.”
“That’s great!” Ling Xiaolu clapped. “Come dance with me!”
The mercenaries: …
【Global】Lu Bi: During the wedding celebration the day after tomorrow, your hubby Ji Meng-tongxue will hold a banquet of a hundred tables at Jingzhe City. Everyone is welcome to join in!
“This Ji Meng, he’s again flaunting his money in front of the pink name, trying to increase his favourability.” Dou Kou immediately saw through Ji Meng’s scheme.
“Clan Leader, we can lose to him, but we can’t lose the war,” a lackey advised.
“Who says I’m losing to him?” Dou Kou glared at him.
【Global】Dou Kou: I’m holding a banquet of two hundred tables!
【Global】Xin Chen: Oh oh oh!
Such a delightful sight, as everyone started hooting, instigating Ji Meng.
This was what Ling Xiaolu had been waiting for. He nudged Ji Meng.
【Global】Ji Meng: Three hundred!
【Global】Dog Biscuit: Hubby is invincible! Hubby is extravagant!
【Global】Dou Kou: Four hundred tables!
【Global】Ju Pipi: Papa is the richest man in the universe! Papa owns mines!
【Global】Ji Meng: Another hundred!
Dou Kou gritted his teeth.
【Global】Dou Kou: Six hundred! I’ll have six hundred tables! Anyone who attends my banquet, I’ll also give you a gold lucky draw egg! Whatever comes out from it is yours!
The global chat cheered, praising Papa Dou’s generosity.
Only after Ling Xiaolu stopped laughing did he then speak.
【Global】Lu Bi: I’m sorry, just now, I’ve checked with the customer service, and she has informed me that the maximum number of tables a main city can hold for a banquet is six hundred. Since Papa Dou is so enthusiastic, then we can only sadly give him the chance. Thank you, Papa Dou!
Dou Kou: Pfft—
The lackeys: Oh no! The Clan Leader has vomited blood!