Edited by AlexPT
Every Saturday, he always ate out for dinner.
After getting off work, he went to the supermarket. Then, with his groceries, he would slowly walk over to an apartment near his office. The building was a new design, aimed to be easily rented out, with four small units on every floor. Every room in each unit had its own bathroom and kitchen, and it was suitable for one person to live there.
He climbed to the third floor and took out his keys to open the door.
Putting down his briefcase, he took off his suit’s jacket and rolled up his sleeves to wash and prepare the ingredients for dinner. After around half an hour, a simple meal was ready to be served, just waiting for that person to come home only.
The sound of the main door opening was heard, and then he was buried in a muscled chest.
A gravelly voice whispered into his better left ear. Guo Jinshan couldn’t resist shivering.
The young man righted him around, touching his forehead to his and said, “Did you prepare dinner and wait for me? That’s nice.”
“Mmm…” He could only agree softly, looking down.
“But… can we eat later?” The young man kissed his lips, his mischievous hands already unbuttoning his shirt.
Because I want to eat you…
That was the last thing he heard before Guo Jinshan drowned in the young man’s heated passion.
Because of the dream, he woke up.
But as he opened his eyes, he couldn’t remember the contents of it. Only the wetness at the corners of his eyes left evidence that the dream was a sad one.
To find out what time it was, he tried to get up quietly to avoid disturbing the young man beside him. The single bed was cramped as the two of them were sharing it, but the younger man said he liked that they were close together.
“Ugh.” An ache he couldn’t get used to flare up. A groan escaped him. Rather than feeling the pain, he was much more embarrassed.
The person behind him suddenly tightened his arms around, dragging him closer as though he was all his.
Guo Jinshan couldn’t resist looking back at the young man’s sleeping face. Even in sleep, he was unwilling to let him go.
Originally studying in a university in Taipei, the young man successfully transferred to a top Science and Technology university in Hsinchu for graduate studies after graduation, just because Guo Jinshan had no intentions to return to Taipei. When he found out, he was staggered.
With the young man’s grades, he could have the opportunity to stay at the university in Taipei. Yet he forwent all that. He kept him in the dark entirely, and that when he realised what had happened, it was already too late. Although the science department here at this university was also famous, comparable to the previous university, as well as being suitable for his needs, but…
The young man’s first priority was not everyone’s ideal choice of a study environment, but him.
To come here to attend school just to see him easier, even going to the extent of choosing an apartment near his office… Even though he knew this wasn’t right, he still felt cherished. Hugging his knees, Guo Jinshan lightly rested his forehead on his arms.
“What are you thinking about?” The young man at the back suddenly pulled on his arms asking.
Guo Jinshan turned his head, “Hmm? Sorry, I woke you up.”
“Don’t always apologise, I don’t like hearing it.” The young man sat up, pressing his lips against the back of his neck, trailing kisses down to his back. His tempting voice lowly questioned, “When will you move out? I don’t want to continue waiting any longer, I want to live together with you every day.”
The young man kissed him intensely and tenderly, then pulled him down onto the bed again.
Guo Jinshan’s body heated up. Trying his best to prevent any sounds from escaping, he gasped out, “You always pick me up from the office… Sometimes, I’ll visit you too.”
“You know that’s not what I meant.” Sucking his lover’s bare hips, the young man then pushed himself up above him, said in a serious tone, “I want to live with you. If you’re worried about living expenses, I’m getting my doctorate next year. Then I can just work in National Defence, the salary there will be enough.”
“It’s not that…” Guo Jinshan disconcertedly avoided meeting his eyes.
“You don’t want to live together with me?” The young man asked, a forlorn look in his eyes.
It wasn’t that… Guo Jinshan shook his head, gazing at him sadly, not knowing how to explain.
“You think I’m forcing you?” The young man asked again, grabbing his arm. He agitatedly explained himself, “I really do love you!”
He knew… He knew that!
But, the young man’s love was too intense. It was focused solely on him, and that was the reason he was afraid of going back! Yet, the young man chased him all the way here regardless of all else.
He was unable to not think about the young man’s circumstances. Yet, every time they embraced, he couldn’t think anymore, he wanted to cling onto a thread of rationality within the young man’s whirlpool of fierce passion. However, his own consciousness would just drown in it.
If both of them lose their reason, what would the consequences be?
This drowning passion, there will come a day, which will consume the both of them.
Due to Guo Jinshan’s silence, the young man embraced him tightly
Then said, “Even if you regret it now, it’s too late. I will never let you leave me.”
Though he knew they were on a path which he feared the most, Guo Jinshan only had tears in his eyes, with a very faint smile.
“…Ok.” He only whispered his agreement, letting the young man gently make love to him.
Let the both of them drown. As long as they never let each other go, whatever the consequences, they didn’t matter.
He loved the young man, and the young man loved him.
That was enough.