Edited by Isalee
I dazedly followed Gu Yiliang up the elevator, dazedly entered his place, dazedly sat down on his couch, dazedly hugged his cat, and dazedly recalled the suspicions I had just now.
No, wait, was I now… gay?
With my adversary, we sat in a car, went for a ride, then listened to songs. Just like this, I became bent?!
I grew up in my own little space happily and carefreely. Yet in the blink of an eye, the doors of my closet were forced open by a pair of invisible hands, exposing me to the light of day?
I felt that I was currently extremely exposed, extremely helpless and weak, and extremely lonely with no one to rely on.
Forget it, I should not be saying that. After all, I had someone, Gu Yiliang.1
Why are my words so acerbic?!
I’ve only known him for a short period of time, but why am I able to write an entire book on <How to be A Bottom From Zero>2?!
No, wait, why am I saying that I want to be a bottom?!
If this is the case, I should at least be the top!
But why did I accept that I had turned gay just like this?!
Gu Yiliang’s name is really too much! Nevermind the fact that his surname is Gu, why is there an “Yi” in his name?!3
No, wait, what does this have to do with him?!
Save me, I’m so very confused!!
Wei Yanzi, you must calm down. At this important juncture, you definitely cannot confuse yourself.
A hallucination, it must be a hallucination.
I guess people can always become attracted randomly. Gu Yiliang is so extremely good-looking, and my eyes and soul have only been mesmerised by good-looking things!
A momentary infatuation with a superficial beauty is bound to be shallow. I need to seek higher pursuits and make sure that my determination never waver. It will never be moved by Gu Yiliang’s flirtations, and I must cling on to my true inclination!
Isn’t it just Flirtatious Gu? Hah, I’ve already been flirted with to the point of numbness, I’m now resistant to it!
I, Wei Yanzi, will never become gay! I’m making my battle statement here. If you have the guts, come!
Step by step, I gritted my teeth and thought through things, and the door of the closet finally, slowly closed.
Exhaling slowly, I looked around. Gu Yiliang was currently hiding in his kitchen, packing away that plastic bag of his. As such, I focused on petting the cat, and had a heart-to-heart talk with the kitty.
I stroked the cat’s chin. “Hi, in this place, I’m Yan-ge. May I ask for your name please?”
Then, I pitched my voice up and answered, “Hi, my last name is Gu, and you can just call me Kitty Gu.”
I stroked the cat’s nose. “Oh, hello, hello. Umm, I’d like to ask you something. Does your father just flirt with everyone he sees?”
Again, I pitched my voice up and answered, “Not really. Although my father has no morals, he also only flirts with good-looking people. Brother, are you one of his victims?”
I stroked the cat’s belly, sighing. “Exactly so. I’m about to worry myself to death here. Say, why is he like this?”
Then I pitched my voice up again. “Young hero, don’t worry. There’s a saying that it is heaven’s law to reincarnate, and they’ll have to pay it back one day.”
I stroked the cat’s back. “Thank you for your kind words—”
Seeing Gu Yiliang walking over with two cups of warm water, I quickly fell silent. Pretending that nothing was going on, I looked at the cat, stroking it.
Gu Yiliang saw the cat in my arms. Placing the cups in front of me, he sounded a little like a proud parent, “It’s adorable, right?”
I nodded, picking up the cup and drinking from it. “It’s so obedient, and it doesn’t scratch at all.”
“Yes, and it can even understand a few commands.” Gu Yiliang waved his hand at me. “William, come to Papa.”
With big eyes, I watched the cat in my arms stand up and slowly sway its way over to Gu Yiliang. It then fell backwards, revealing its belly.
Me: “… What did you call it?”
Him: “Eh? Is that your name as well?”
Me: “You still have the cheek to ask?!”
Hold on, so the amount of time I spent amusing myself just now, was the amount of time I became his son?
Hold on, he must have reared this cat for at least a year already. Did he always call it by my name?
Hold on, since Gu Yiliang and I were currently an official fan-service couple, would this cat have to call me his brother or should he call me Daddy?
Hold on, this purely natural, sweet, delightful fluff without any additives added, had actually not been exposed by the Niangzi Army?!
Advance troops, you guys haven’t been very successful!
Should I first gorge myself on this fluff to nourish myself, or kick Gu Yiliang first?
As I was feeling conflicted about what I should do first, carrying the cat, Gu Yiliang suddenly stood up and took a couple of steps forward, placing the cat in my arms.
What is he trying to do? Is this the handover ceremony between William and William? Is this to allow two creatures with the same name to get to know each other? Or is this the official CP father and son bonding time?
Suppressing his smile with great effort, Gu Yiliang took out his phone and started snapping photos of the cat and me vigorously. “Don’t move, don’t move. Just remain in this position, at this angle. William, open your eyes a little bigger, oh nice—”
Report! Gu Yiliang has started selecting photos!
Report! Gu Yiliang has started typing!
Report! Wei Yanzi’s phone vibrated!
Report! Wei Yanzi’s phone vibrated three times!
I was very certain that the three vibrations were from the Super Fanclub app, notifying me about Gu Yiliang being online, his new Weibo post, and that I had been tagged.
I was very certain that that would be a purely natural, sweet, delightful fluff without any additives added.
The situation was extremely critical, and we were pressed for time. I could no longer stand it. With a solemn face, I put the cat down, took out my phone, unlocked my screen, opened Weibo, and at the earliest possible timing—
Hurriedly gorged on this huge fluff without a change in my expression!
@GuYiliangLiam: Two Williams. @WeiYanziWilliam
【The attached image was me, the cat, and his couch. The time on the clock showed that it was currently 9.46pm.】
This was information overload. Secretly enjoying fluff right in front of the person involved was too exciting. Witnessing the entire process of the expert producing fluff, I was about to collapse.
Who held the streamer and did the ribbon dance? Me! It was me!
In my heart, with great emotions, I finished dancing a rhythmic gymnastic piece which had a difficulty rating of six stars. Feigning calmness, I frowned slightly and asked with fake reservedness, “Is it fine if you post it like this?”
Gu Yiliang frowned slightly as well. He pondered, “Is it not? … Then hold on, I have an account, I can edit it.”
A moment later, I refreshed my Weibo page.
@GuYiliangLiam: My William with @WeiYanziWilliam.
Me: Is the ambulance here?
Me: Is it?
Me: Save me.
I pinched my thigh hard. On my last legs, I clung on to my last shred of sobriety. With my usual tone, which contained slight dissatisfaction, I asked, “Why did you give it this name?”
Gu Yiliang laughed. “I casually gave it this name when I bought it. I just felt that it was a nice name. It was such a coincidence — right when I brought it home, you had injured your leg, so I used it for a video. I believe that even if you saw that video, you wouldn’t know the meaning behind it, since you didn’t know its name. However, it’s been over a year already. If you didn’t mention it, I wouldn’t even have recalled—”
He seemed to have said a lot of words, but I didn’t hear most of it. All I could think of repeatedly was, “Video video video video video video video!!!”
I originally thought that I had enjoyed a piece of fake fluff, only to discover later that this piece of fluff was real. Then, I thought that this fluff had expired, but now, I discovered—
Was this some fucking hundred-year-old wine or something? The older it was, the sweeter it became, and it even gave infinite joy!
Of course, the hundred years also referred to how Niangzi would be harmoniously together for a hundred years.
Someone in my head was yelling through a loudspeaker with all his might, “Fluff—! You must enjoy it at all times—! You can’t not enjoy it—!”
I was about to collapse.
Like a fool, I looked at Gu Yiliang, wanting to carve his wonderful image into my heart — I would forever remember this expert who gave me endless joy (and diabetes). Even when I reached the age of eighty, I would still be able to smile as I look back at my memories.
Tears filled my eyes. They reddened slightly, and my breathing sped up — I was emotional.
My eyes seemed a little dazed — It was because of too much sugar.
The corners of my mouth curved up uncontrollably — I was excited.
I — Gu Yiliang suddenly stood up swiftly. He ran into his study, and then ran into his bathroom.
【Gu Yiliang’s Standby Diary — Section 1】
What should I do!
I can’t believe that I’ve actually written the first exclamation mark in my diary ever.
No, now is not the time to pay attention to the exclamation mark.
I really am not familiar with this duty at all. Do I really have to…?
Using the excuse of having to go to the bathroom, I also cannot hide here too long. However, I’m really very nervous.
I don’t know what’s going on with the adversary. We were having a good chat, but he suddenly used a very lewd(?) gaze to look at me, I—
His motions had been too abrupt. Worried, I knocked on the bathroom door. “Gu Yiliang? What’s wrong?”
A reply came from within, “… I touched William just now, so I wanted to wash my hands.”
So he has mysophobia? Why didn’t I notice this before?
【Gu Yiliang’s Standby Diary — Section 2】
What should I do?
Should I not have suddenly stood up and left? Because of this, would the adversary think that I can’t hold back anymore?
… Why didn’t I do more homework last night, and prepare more materials in case of emergencies?
I also didn’t expect that things would progress this fast. I have yet to even provide any resources—
Was there a need to be in the bathroom for so long? It better not be some acute appendicitis or something, he would need to go to the hospital for that. Worried, I again knocked on the door.
“Are you feeling uncomfortable? Don’t try to avoid seeing the doctor if you are, you shouldn’t drag it—”
The reply travelled through the door. “… It’s not that. I have to prepare canned food for William later, so I have to wash my hands properly, if not it will vomit.”
… What a precious cat…
【Gu Yiliang’s Standby Diary — Section 3】
As expected, the adversary feels that I can’t hold back anymore, and he’s even urging me.
Ah, what should I do. Even writing does not help me clear my mind.
Forget it, if he’s really in such a hurry… Then I’ll just go along with him first, and offer him the resources properly later.
There was no sound at all in the bathroom. I was really afraid that Gu Yiliang had acute appendicitis, and had already fainted. Anxiously, I paced in front of the door, then like a lizard, I pressed myself against the door, trying to hear if there were any sounds inside.
In the end, the door was opened suddenly.
I nearly fell onto the ground, but Gu Yiliang caught me in time.
We’re too close we’re too close we’re too close we’re too close —
From a close distance, I looked at his smooth and graceful neck, and I was entirely in a panic.
He even lowered his head slightly—
Eyelashes! Eyelashes, stop fluttering! Don’t fan the flames anymore!
Gu Yiliang, I was joking when I made my battle statement! I lost! I lost, alright?!
Hurry up and let me go! Stop your wild winds, as a little sapling, I’m not about to bend, I’m about to break! Break! I’ll break, understand?!
However, he did not do as I wanted. His arm was still around my waist, his voice low and soft, “Let’s…”
He hesitated and stopped speaking.
Close to a breakdown, I looked at him.
There were too many possibilities!
Let’s get a room? Let’s go to bed? Let’s start—?
The door of the closet was once again slowly opening! The light was too blinding! All I could see was white! Save me!
Him: “Let’s play a game. We’ll play as a team.”
The closet door slammed shut.
It was like an inversion of the famous cut scene from Detective Conan.