ISMM Chapter 35

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Chapter 35


Edited by Isalee

 

 

624.

The entire roomful of people was happily drunk. The males had the arms around each other’s shoulders, declaring each to be their best bro, while the females were all gathered together, declaring their deep affections for each other. I too was a little intoxicated, and so mentioned it to Gu Yiliang before standing up and heading to the washroom, as well as to wash my face.

 

With the splash of cold water across my face, my slightly heated skin cooled down a little. Just as I stepped out of the washroom, I bumped into someone.

 

I hurriedly apologised. “Sorry, sorry, I wasn’t looking carefully.”

 

That person waved me off. “It’s fine — Eh? Yanyan?”

 

Hearing my nickname, I focused my eyes on that person. Was this not Old Huang’s close business partner, Uncle Qi?!

 

A little dizzy from the alcohol, the name “Uncle Qi” rolled around my tongue, refusing to slip out. Uncle Qi laughed cheerily, patting me on the shoulder. “You don’t remember me anymore? When you were a child, I even had you in my arms—”

 

 

 

 

625.

As those words “had you in my arms” were said, Gu Yiliang abruptly appeared next to me as though he sprouted up from the ground.

 

I was surprised by his sudden appearance. Seeing that his face was all puckered up, I surmised that he felt discomfort from all the alcohol he had drunk. Patting his back as comfort, I pushed him towards the washroom, then smiled at Uncle Qi. “How can I forget? It’s Uncle Qi! Just now, I was a little muddle-headed from drinking, and so I didn’t react in time. Sorry, Uncle Qi!”

 

Uncle Qi asked, “Yanyan, are you filming here? Why didn’t you contact me? I could have taken care of you!”

 

Before I could respond, Gu Yiliang suddenly held my hand, interlocking our fingers together.

 

Wasn’t he going to the washroom?!

 

A member of our older generation was right in front of us. Now was not the time to promote our fanservice! Please, wake up a little!

 

 

 

 

626.

I suppressed the howling in my heart, trying to hide my hand behind my back. But I probably only drew more attention to it and I chuckled, “You’re so busy with work, how can I—”

 

Uncle Qi laughed kindly, patting my shoulder. “Yanyan has grown up, and is now so sensible! I happen to be drinking with two long-time business partners of mine. You should come drink with us too. You don’t have to stay too long, just have a drink and meet them. It’ll be beneficial for your career in the future.”

 

I agreed, but inexplicably, Gu Yiliang started scrabbling at my palm wildly. I turned to glance at him, and on his face was a model, professional face of an idol, and not a single problem could even be found with the degree of how his lips were curved.

 

Me: ??

 

This person, after drinking, had a little too many facets to him, did he not? Was he also a disciple to Subhuti, alongside the Monkey King?

 

Uncle Qi glanced at Gu Yiliang, smiling. “Is this your friend? He should come along too.”

 

 

 

 

627.

While greeting the elders in Uncle Qi’s room, Gu Yiliang continued holding my hand, never letting go. I was afraid that with his drunkenness, he would be like an unleased husky, disappearing if I let go. Therefore, I didn’t dare let go too, allowing him to continue holding my hand.

 

How did we end up in this situation as though we were making our wedding toast?!

 

Under the eagle-eyed observations of the three elders, my scalp tingled as I laughed drily, raising my glass and toasting them.

 

In the end, before the glass could reach my lips, Gu Yiliang snatched the glass away, tipping his head back and emptying the content.

 

What was going on with him today!?

 

My face cracked. Seeing that he was about to fill up his glass again, I immediately stopped him.

 

We were drinking wine in our room, but Uncle Qi and his guests were drinking baijiu. It was fine if I drank a little, but he was already so drunk. If he continued mixing his alcohol like this, I was afraid that he would be like Yiping1, climbing up a bridge and seeking stimulation.

 

In the end, after I stopped him, he still insisted on filling his glass and asserted eloquently, “A person who drinks on someone’s behalf has to drink three glasses as punishment!”

 

No, wait, I also didn’t ask you to drink on my behalf!!

 

He was totally throwing a drunken fit in front of the elders. I shot Uncle Qi an apologetic look—

 

Uncle Qi slapped the table. “Good! Good fellow!”

 

The other two elders too clapped in admiration, praising Gu Yiliang for being sensible.

 

Me: “?”

 

 

 

 

628.

This drinking culture was so harmful!!!

 

 

 

629.

In the amount of time I took to draw three exclamation marks in my heart, Gu Yiliang had already swiftly become one with the three elders. It was a perfect harmony of friends and family as they toasted to their hometowns, their dreams, their future and their past.

 

One of them even got so emotional that his eyes reddened, praising Gu Yiliang for his courage and passion. He said that he had not been as brave when he was younger, only to miss out on a happy match, and he regretted it thoroughly.

 

Me: ? No, wait, how exactly did we get to this point in the conversation?! How was being willing to drink three glasses of alcohol a passionate thing?!

 

Brimming with feelings, Gu Yiliang nodded, patting the hand of that elder as he sighed with emotion, “This drink is called love. No matter who drinks it, they’ll end up drunk.”

 

Me: ? No, wait, what exactly are you guys talking about?!

 

Uncle Qi and the other elder raised their glasses together. “Well said! Drink!!”

 

 

 

 

630.

Looking at this bizarre scene, I started to suspect that I was actually the drunk one.

 

 

 

 

631.

Watching them still holding up their glasses and toasting to freedom, I was afraid that if Gu Yiliang continued drinking, he would be toasting to his death. Reaching out, I pulled him back, speaking to the three elders, “Sorry, uncles, we still have to film tomorrow…”

 

Uncle Qi said, “It’s fine, it’s fine. Your career is more important, hurry up and head back! This fellow is really not bad, and he has the potential to be an A-list actor. Give me his name, I’ll keep an eye out for any resources for him.”

 

I agreed profusely, thanking him on Gu Yiliang’s behalf. Uncle Qi patted my shoulder. “I can see that this fellow is really not bad. It’s destiny for you two to meet, and you should cherish it.”

 

Me: “?”

 

Another elder gave an innocent chuckle. “Yes, yes, it’s not easy to meet like that!”

 

The eyes of the third elder were still red as he nodded continuously.

 

 

 

 

632.

Holding onto Gu Yiliang, I left this seemingly magical drinking session with weak jellyish legs.

 

 

 

 

633.

When we returned to the production crew, everyone was already nearly done packing up, ready to leave. Gu Yiliang’s assistant was flying all over the place looking for him. Little Chen had moved a stool to a corner, leisurely sitting there playing on his phone while charging it.

 

Upon seeing our return, the two assistants immediately flew over. Little Chen grabbed my hand. “Yanyan, you’re finally back! I was so worried when I couldn’t find you no matter where I looked. I thought you had gone missing!”

 

Truthfully speaking, his acting skills were much better than mine. If not for his phone still showing the Anipop screen, I would have believed him.

 

I said, “We both drank, and we can’t drive. Can you—”

 

Little Chen gave a burp that was full of the smell of wine.

 

I turned to look at Gu Yiliang’s assistant. The young girl’s face was red, her slender finger jabbing at Little Chen’s face. “He was the one who let me drink!”

 

Me: “…”

 

Fine, sure, alright. This drink is called love. No matter who drinks it, they’ll end up drunk.

 

 

 

 

634.

The chauffeurs offered by the restaurants had all been booked by the other people in the production crew, and the young female assistant had no strength to support Gu Yiliang at all. I helped the blearily drunk Gu Yiliang put on his mask, indignantly asking Little Chen to hire a car to come to the basement carpark.

 

Once the car arrived, I tossed Gu Yiliang into the backseat, turning around and stopping Little Chen who was preparing to get into the passenger seat.

 

Little Chen cried sadly, “Yanyan, do you not want me anymore?!”

 

I raised my chin over to where a young girl was standing by the entrance of the basement carpark.

 

He immediately became very reverent, straightening his body. “Boss, I’m very grateful. I’m going now, and if I don’t return—”

 

I pinched the bridge of my nose, waving him off. “Then don’t return.”

 

 

 

 

635.

Just as I took a seat in the back, and before I could even close the door, Gu Yiliang had squirreled over, playing with my fingers.

 

I’ll just let him be, let him be. In any case, it was much better than him climbing a bridge and seeking thrills. It seemed like he was still somewhat conscious, as he was counting my fingers quite accurately.

 

I slammed the door shut.

 

Gu Yiliang immediately released my hand. He started to remove his jacket, then bent over to remove his shoes.

 

Me: “?”

 

I held his hand down. “What are you doing?”

 

He looked at me, puzzled. “Ah? Aren’t we home already?”

 

Me: “…”

 

Me: “Sorry, sir, could you please hurry up and start the car? I’m afraid I’m about to lose control of the situation.”

 

 

 

 

636.

The moment the car started moving, Gu Yiliang said that he wanted to puke. When the car stopped, Gu Yiliang waved his hand, saying that he was fine.

 

This repeated for five times, and the car had only moved a total of five metres.

 

When Gu Yiliang said that he wanted to puke for the sixth time, the driver turned to speak to me, “Why don’t I charge by the time taken instead?”

 

 

 

 

637.

Why was my life so full of hardships!

 

My dear old father had taken out his money to treat Gu Yiliang to food and alcohol!

 

And now that he was drunk I was responsible for cleaning up this mess!

 

Why?! Why?! I asked the heavens, I asked the earth, and I wanted to be superstitious and ask fate too!

 

Gritting my teeth, I pulled Gu Yiliang down to lie on my lap, then told the driver, “Right now! Take this opportunity and drive! Hurry! If he pukes, I’ll wrap it up! If it leaks, I’ll pay you the cleaning fee!”

 

The driver stepped on his accelerator very cooperatively, driving his car out of the basement car park.

 

 

 

 

638.

Finally, the car steadily made its way through the roads. Afraid that Gu Yiliang would feel nauseous, I placed my hand on his forehead, massaging his temples with my fingertips. In my heart, I thought, if he really dared vomit on me, I would immediately dig my fingers into his temples and seal off the acupoints there! No mercy would be shown!

 

In the end, to my surprise, Gu Yiliang obediently remained lying on my thigh. His eyes were tightly shut, and he even placed his hand on top of mine.

 

I placed another hand on top of his.

 

He placed his other hand on top of mine.

 

I pulled out my hand that was at the bottom of the pile, placing it right on top.

 

He too pulled out his hand that was at the bottom of the pile, placing it right on top.

 

Me: ?

 

He was already so drunk, and yet he still refused to admit defeat?

 

Unwilling to be outdone, I pulled my hand out and placed it on top repeatedly. He too kept up, pulling his hand out and placing it on top.

 

As our hands piled on top of each other, the continuous sounds of smacks rang out in the car.

 

 

 

 

639.

“Ahem.” The driver did not look into the rearview mirror at all. “Umm, young man, you have to be a little more restrained when outside. My car—”

 

Me: “…”

 

Me: “Mister, you’ve misunderstood, really. I’m only taking advantage of him being drunk and smacking his hands only.”

 

The driver: “…”

 

The driver: “Young people are really wild, with so many tricks up their sleeves.”

 

Me: “…”

 

 

 

 

640.

I was mentally exhausted. Really, I was. From the bottom of my heart, I swore I had aged at least forty years.

 

If Gu Yiliang could catch up to the speed of my ageing, we should be able to achieve the impossible fanservice aim of growing old together.

 

I watched the stars, the moon, and finally watched the car arrive at our destination.

 

Half pulling, half tugging, half dragging, half hauling, half hugging, half carrying, I managed to get Gu Yiliang out of the backseat. The moment his feet touched the ground, he ripped off his mask and vomited.

 

It was fine. He had managed to endure it and didn’t vomit on me. He had successfully escaped his impending death.

 

I patted Gu Yiliang’s back, then accepted the bottle of water the driver handed over to me, letting him rinse his mouth with it.

 

“It harms the body to drink so much,” the driver advised. Upon seeing Gu Yiliang’s side profile, he was shocked. “Eh? Isn’t this the who? My daughter really likes him a lot, she always looks at his Weibo in her room and laughs herself silly. Even asking her to come out and eat will take us a few tries. He and that who—”

 

The driver looked at me, squinting.

 

I felt a deep sense of foreboding.

 

 

 

 

641.

The driver turned around deftly, taking out a few pieces of paper with coloured images on them from the trunk.

 

The driver: “My daughter left these behind, and so I kept them for her. Ahem, see, I’m not very close to my daughter, so—”

 

I swept a glance at the posters in his hand, immediately recognising which ones they were after seeing the colour scheme. Before I could speak, Gu Yiliang stood up straight, swaying, then draped himself over me. Looking down at the posters in the driver’s hand, his eyes brightened. “Oh, it’s doves!”

 

I really was unable to comprehend what nonsense he was saying, and so I just watched as he took the driver’s ballpoint pen, scribbling his signature across a poster.

 

I looked down at his signature, and fell into a suffocating silence.

 

The driver took the poster back and glanced at it, before looking at me again. “It… looks like it’s your name?”

 

 

 

 

642.

It’s fluff!!!!

 

How could he be already dead drunk and still reflexively produce such fluff?!?!

 

 

 

 

643.

With all my might, I suppressed my impulse to go onto the road and run circles around Punan Avenue. With a calm and slightly quavering voice, I said, “He’s drunk and signed wrongly. Then I’ll just sign his name instead, your daughter shouldn’t mind it.”

 

Not only would she not mind it, but it was highly likely that I would have a surprise reunion with this poster in the super topic of Weibo tonight.

 

The driver nodded. “Sure, in any case, she should not be able to tell the difference.”

 

You truly understand your daughter too little.

 

With one hand supporting Gu Yiliang, I signed the poster with my other hand. “Umm, tonight was our crew dinner—”

 

The driver waved me off. “I got it, got it. There’s many stars involved in this production, and I’ve driven a few as well. I won’t be saying any nonsense about it.”

 

He waved the poster in his hand. “I have to thank you as well. I’ll take it as a daily act of charity then.”

 

I nodded. Waving goodbye at the driver, I dragged Gu Yiliang into the hotel.


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0 thoughts on “ISMM Chapter 35

  1. Half pulling, half tugging, half dragging, half hauling, half hugging, half carrying. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

    These two crack me up 😆 thank you for sharing this with us 👏🙏🌈❤️🌹

  2. I love this story! Thank you for taking the time to translate. I have actually been reading for a few months now, awaiting each chapter excitedly!

    Ah! I can’t wait to read what comes next. What is Gu Yiliang thinking??? (>__<)

  3. I’m HOWLING. Reading this at 5 am and it couldn’t be a better way to start the day. So much vinegar! So much passion! So many misunderstandings! First he overhears the uncle, then bonds with a closeted old gay, possibly confessing his love BEFORE HIS CRUSH EVEN KNOWS THEY’RE TOGETHER… Then the taxi driver thinks they’re papapa-ing (oh, how I hope he jokingly tells his daughter that. She’s gonna lose her MIND)…

    Just the hand slapping was super super cute, so I didn’t expect the driver to then hit me with the hilarious misunderstanding.

    Then GYL drunkenly signing someone else’s name for fanservice? BRILLIANT.

    And now they’re rolling up to a hotel, ahaha, Mr. Taxi Driver and Little Miss Taxi Driver’s Daughter, please take very good care of them and give him lots of fluff.

  4. Gu Yiliang keep Misunderstood…
    Yanzi keep Misunderstood….
    The taxi driver also misunderstood…!!!
    They all have different types of misunderstanding!!! I’m crying!!! 😂😂😂 lmao

  5. ah, this couple just keeps brightening up my day 😂😂 the way their entire “fanservice” is built upon misunderstandings on top of misunderstandings leading to hilarious scenes is just 🤣🤣🤣

  6. Every update is hilarious! The misunderstandings build. I can’t wait see what Gu Yiliang was thinking this whole time. I wonder when this CP.will become official? Thank you for the update!

  7. AH i remember first time seeing this on bilibili n decided to read it today n boy I AM BAFFLED THIS IS HILARIOUS AND SUPER FLUFF I CANT. im usually the type to read a heavier theme but MAN IM A SUCKER FOR THIS HA!HA!
    anyway thankyou for translating, translator-sama!

  8. Thanks to the translators from the bottom of my heart. I love this novel so much! Waiting for an update is excruciating pain… I’m gonna reread from the beginning again while I wait for ch 36.

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