LSR Chapter 1

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Chapter 1 – What to Do, My Girlfriend Thinks I Gave My Roommate a Blowjob


Edited by: Omecihuatl, Beth-Worthyin

Wei Rusong walked listlessly down the corridor, dragging his luggage that had already lost a wheel. Like in an epic novel, with disasters at every turn, the start of the new school year was filled with an air of competitiveness; yet knowing that he was just an extra made Wei Rusong depressed.

While climbing the stairs, Wei Rusong had damaged his cheap luggage by losing a wheel on the way up. This gave him a bad premonition. However his girlfriend, who happened to be known as the prettiest girl in class, was joining him for lunch— so he hoped he was wrong. Wei Rusong looked at his watch and estimated that it was about time for her to arrive, so he moved energetically towards his dormitory. His room, number 325, was located on the third floor. It was positioned at the end of the corridor, and to be shared between four people.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, due to Wei Rusong being last on the register, he was assigned to this room alone. Although, while being elated and celebrating in the bathroom, he slipped on a bar of soap and ended up lying on the bathroom floor the entire evening.

Setting the luggage down, he took out his key and tried to unlock the door, only to see that the door was unlocked? Wei Rusong appeared clumsy, but he was a meticulous person, so it was very unlikely that he had forgotten to lock the door.

Upon opening the door, he spotted a messy pile of shoes in the entrance-way. Glancing at them he realised that many of them happened to be limited-edition Air Jordans?! Another peculiar thing was the sound of water coming from the bathroom that was just next to the entrance. Someone actually dared to trespass on his territory?

Just as Wei Rusong stepped forward, he tripped on one of the expensive shoes and fell forward, in front of the very well built naked person, who happened to exit the bathroom at the same time.

Thunk! Wei Rusong fell onto his knees; a dick now right in front of him. Not exaggerating, this dick was huge; no faults could be found with its size, shape or colour — definitely not losing to the dicks seen in western porn films. It was like a beast sleeping in a wet and dense forest. He felt the warmth wafting off the object onto his face and in his eyes — truthfully, it was a little off-putting.

“Rusong, Songsong! Are you done unpacking?”

Chen Xuanxuan’s voice could be heard outside the door. Wei Rusong panicked for a moment, how could he let his darling see a stranger’s dick?! He needed to sacrifice himself to save her. With such lofty ambitions in mind he steeled himself and reached out his hand to cover the dick — fuck fuck fuck, one hand was not enough to cover the beast, his hand was going to rot, fuck!

“Songsong, why is the door open?”

Panicking, Wei Rusong finally managed to use both hands to cover the object, but just as he was about to relax, a piercing shriek echoed.

“Ah—! You damned gay!”

Eh? Gay? How was he gay? Where was he gay?! Wei Rusong hurriedly got up from the ground, leapt across the pile of shoes on the ground and ran out of the room, chasing Chen Xuanxuan.

“Xuanxuan, I can explain, I’m not gay! You’re the one I love…”

“Shut up!” If the lovely Xuanxuan had one fault, it would be that her voice was loud, even more intense than a loudspeaker.

“Don’t use the same mouth that gave a man a blowjob, to say you love me!” She angrily slapped Wei Rusong, leaving a glowing five-fingered print for everyone to see.

The lousy soundproofing of the dormitory was common knowledge; a fart in one room could be heard in the next, not to mention Chen Xuanxuan’s shouting in the corridor. As such, everyone peered out of their rooms, and this was the first time in his 20 years of life did Wei Rusong experience being in the centre of attention.

“What are you looking at? Never seen an argument before?!”

Lifelessly, he returned to his room. By that time, the culprit had already dressed and was currently playing video games on his computer. The expressionless face, which was comparable to male models, belonged to a man that looked completely unaware of what had just happened.

So what if you’re handsome? I wouldn’t touch you willingly even if you stripped in front of me! I’m a 100% straight male! Wei Rusong was pissed.

“I’ll tell you now, I’m not gay! I’m not gay — I’m not gay!”

“Neither am I.”

“Then why did you come out of the bathroom naked?” Wei Rusong shuddered as he recalled the image and felt a sense of despair.

“Do you know, that by trying to protect my girlfriend’s innocence, my reputation has been shattered?”

“I heard a disturbance outside the door, so I came out to take a look.” The handsome guy finally finished his game and turned to look at Wei Rusong. “What happened to your face? Were you hit by a baboon?”

“My girlfriend slapped me,” Wei Rusong replied weakly. “Might be my ex-girlfriend now, though. Anyway, who are you? Why are you in my room?”

“I am a First-year Information Engineering student, Xiao Nian. They said that I’m the last one in class, so they arranged for me to stay with a senior — you’re the senior right?” He greeted Wei Rusong. Xiao Nian was lucky to be born good-looking. If not, people would have thought that he was insincere with that unchanging expression on his face.

“Eh? Oh, hi. I’m Wei Rusong. We’re in the same faculty, but I’m a Second-year student.”

Wei Rusong was friendly on the outside, but inside he was backtracking. Why did he not know that he was getting a roommate? Did the school not have any compassion? Did the school not have any humanitarian values? How could they not have alerted him? Wei Rusong sent a text to the counsellor.

“Counsellor Zhou, this is Wei Rusong from Information Engineering Class 3. May I know why I suddenly have a roommate?”

“I thought I’d already called to inform you.”

Did you call me when you were dreaming? Wei Rusong nearly threw his phone. Wait a minute, it seemed like that had happened.

Flashback to day X during the school holidays:

“I’m here.. what? Are you looking down on me? You’re not allowed to look down on me!”

“Be a man! So full of vigour. Be brighter than the sun…”

“Which asshole is calling me at this time? Counsellor Zhou? Hello, hello. Eh, yes— fuck don’t run towards me! Ah, it’s nothing. A roommate? No, I don’t have one— which asshole is beating me?! Ok ok, bye Counsellor Zhou!”

“Ohoho~, I’m going to beat your asses and wash off this shame!”

Returning to the present.

Ah yes, Wei Rusong remembered that day of enthusiastic gaming. He finally went into the top 3000 ranks on the ladder; whereas what Counselor Zhou had previously mentioned, he could not recall a word.

Fine, one reaped what he sowed; Wei Rusong sighed.

“You better keep your shoes neatly. The past incident was definitely your fault, but since I’m older than you, I’m not going to nitpick. Next time, you better listen to me ok?”

Xiao Nian nodded obediently.

Since he was young, Wei Rusong had always sneered at gossip, but even so, Xiao Nian’s fame had exceeded his expectations. Firstly, Xiao Nian was handsome enough that a secretly-taken candid shot of him had gathered over ten thousand views online. Secondly, Xiao Nian had a good background. His father was a well-known entrepreneur, the country’s pride, while his mother was a famous goddess. Even now, if a survey was to be done amongst the older generation, most would still choose her as their dream lover.

And it was Xiao Nian who had inherited her good looks; just that it was a male version. Thirdly, Xiao Nian was a straight-A student. Apparently, his grades were the top in the faculty, but for him to be given the last position in the last class, it seemed like someone was messing with him.

Of course, Wei Rusong wasn’t too bad himself — he was bright and cheerful, with some people comparing him to Daniel Wu and others to Takeshi Kaneshiro. If there was no one to compare him to, it would be fine, but standing next to Xiao Nian he could see how his looks definitely paled in comparison.

News spread rapidly across the campus — there was a senior that gave Xiao Nian a blowjob on the first day of school! Of course, this sounded like nonsense, especially amongst the girls. They refused to believe it, and actually formed a team in support of Xiao Nian; trying to clear his name. Both parties involved never made any statements, so eventually the news faded into the background. Particularly after military training, Xiao Nian did not react to anything, so there was no follow-up to the incident.

However, Wei Rusong could no longer get back into a relationship with Chen Xuanxuan. No matter how hard he explained, she categorically refused to believe him. She had already witnessed him on his knees in front of Xiao Nian… Just thinking about it disgusted her. And so, Wei Rusong’s first relationship, where he was even too shy to hold hands, came to a baffling end.

Currently, Wei Rusong was very bored in class so he ended up playing games on his phone. Wei Rusong tended to be entirely engrossed when playing games, losing all focus for anything around him, which explained why he had no idea he had gained a roommate. But even so, when it came to gaming, he was pretty skilled.

“Eh, Rusong,” His classmate Liu Xing, also known as Big Mouth Monkey, leant towards him. His nickname was pretty self-explanatory; he was talkative and a gossip, as well as looking like a monkey. Hence the name Big Mouth Monkey. “What happened between you and Xiao Nian?”

“Eh?” Wei Rusong replied thoughtlessly as his fingers flew across his screen.

“Did you really give Xiao Nian a blowjob?”

“Are you stupid? That Angela player only had a little HP left — why did Yuji stop? Kill her! Yes, yes, whatever you said is correct. Don’t disturb me.”

Wei Rusong was officially in do-not-disturb mode. Big Mouth Monkey smiled slyly.

“So what did it taste like?”

“What did what taste like? Ahh—! I’m gonna die!” Wei Rusong grit his teeth and spat out, “Salty bitch!”

From then on, the gossip spread like a viral infection, but this time in even more detail, including the names of those involved.

Wei Rusong gave Xiao Nian a blowjob on the first day of school and commented that it was salty.

At this point in time, even if Xiao Nian was a saint, he could not tolerate it any longer. So when Wei Rusong returned to the dormitory looking glum, Xiao Nian took the rare initiative to speak.

“Senior, I’m not gay.”

“Fuck, then do you think I am? I’m also not gay!”

“Then why did you tell others my dick is salty?” Xiao Nian appeared calm, but his tone said otherwise. “Have you even tried it?”


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0 thoughts on “LSR Chapter 1

  1. LMAO, this is definitely the best way to start the year 😂😂
    Thank you for translating this work ❤❤❤

  2. Huft … why i just find your site now 😭😭 there are many gems here … I can’t read anything wonderful after danmeila being shutdown ..

  3. Ohmygod, can you make this into ebook. I’m so gonna read this everytime I’m in need a good laugh 😂😂😂😂

  4. Wei Rusong… Are you Crazy? Pay attention! Your reputation Will be thoroughly ruined, otherwise.

    Thanks for the translation. This novel seems really funny.

  5. OMG i can’t! I just can’t HAHAHAHA MC’s just digging his own pit and jumping down without any second thoughts hahaha. I’m dying from the second-hand embarassment and this is just the first chapter.

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