ISMM Chapter 37

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Chapter 37 (NSFW)

Edited by Isalee





In the end, I did not turn into ashes, and I was still alive.


Kneeling between his legs, I silently congratulated myself for surviving this disaster. At the same time, I felt that something was not right.






Did he drug me again?!


Why was my mind blank? When I regained consciousness, both my knees were already on the ground—


And he even said that he was a little candy man! In my mouth, he’s not sweet at all!






Gu Yiliang sat on the bed, looking down at me as his fingers played with my earlobe.


I looked up at him. The moment our eyes met, I heard him hiss softly, so I curled my tongue, and I heard him gasp quietly.


That gasp caused my heart to pound rapidly, feeling as though it could burst out of my chest. Thoughts flew past my mind.


— Can’t touch my teeth can’t touch my teeth can’t touch my teeth.


— It feels like I’m performing a skill.


— Like sword swallowing!


— The corners of my mouth are about to tear, my jaw’s about to dislocate, something’s happening to my lower jaw joints, it’s all the way inside my throat, and I want to vomit.


— It’s actually edible?


— It’s so tiring to suck the entire thing in. If I just suck the front half, lick at it with my tongue, and use my hands for the second half, it would be less tiring.


— As expected, it’s less tiring.


— If I take it deeper, scraping my tongue from the bottom to the top, he seems to enjoy it very much.


— As expected, he’s enjoying it a lot.


— I’m actually very talented at this?!








His fingers, fiddling with my earlobe, tightened their grip. He suddenly pushed my head away, pulling me up to kiss him.


His lips were truly too soft and malleable. It clearly would not be sweet, but it tasted refreshingly sweet. Our tongues twined and licked at each other, sliding in and out. The effects of the alcohol slipped into our brains, making us feel as though we were floating.


He kissed me to the point where I could not help but want to kneel down again. Seeing how he seemed like he did not want to unload himself, I softly asked, “… You don’t want it anymore? It doesn’t feel good?”


He looked at me imperturbably for a moment. Kissing me, he then looked down. “…I can’t do it.”


My heart, pounding inside me, felt as though it had crashed into a tree. I descended into silence — Did he…


,,, have some painful secrets that he could not share? The sort that needed him to go to Apollo Hospital or something?


I wondered how to phrase things so as not to injure his pride as a man, and whether I should remind him never ever use Baidu to search for a hospital, he dragged me into his arms, hugging me and asking me seriously, “I don’t want to be the only one enjoying myself. Shall I help you as well? I want to make you… mn, feel good too?”


Me: “?”








That would be fantastic!






“Well! If you insist!” Afraid that he would go back on his words, I quickly flipped around and jumped onto the bed. Waving at him, I said, “Come, come!”


Him: “…”


I saw how he seemed to be in a trance, his expression complicated and vacant. Thinking about how he was previously even straighter than a flagpole, I immediately caved like a coward. “Umm… you don’t have to force yourself…”


He shook his head while walking over. “I’m not forcing myself.”






Again, these four familiar words.


Finally, he was no longer using the tone of having to make the hardest decision ever in his life again. In my heart, I felt a shock that I could not put into words — so, asking him to suck me off was easier than asking him to teach me how to act and going to his place to look at his cat?!


So, I wasn’t Scientist Gu?


So, he was actually deep in the closet?


A citizen of Narnia?


With a complicated and vacant expression, I watched as he slowly undid my pants.






【Player Wei Yanzi】Gear -1


【Player Wei Yanzi】Gear -1


【Player Wei Yanzi】hp +50


【Player Wei Yanzi】hp -50


【Player Wei Yanzi】hp -50


【Player Wei Yanzi】hp -50


【Player Wei Yanzi】hp -50








Brake! Slam the brakes! My heart, instead of pounding, has left the building!


Before my health pool was emptied, I rescued my Little Wei Jr. in time from his mouth.


He looked at me, puzzled, then said gently, “It’s fine, I really don’t feel like I’m being forced.”


It was so painful that I nearly couldn’t speak. With much difficulty, I replied, “… I… I feel quite forced…”


All along, he had been demolishing my health pool with magic attacks, bullying and humiliating me! Who would have thought that his physical attacks would be even more powerful?!


He was just using his teeth to dismember me, right?! Sucking was involved in a blowjob. No one said anything about using teeth, alright?!


Exactly what sort of calamity did I cause to suffer such cruel punishment? Did I shatter the heavenly lamp of the Queen Mother of the West?


First was my pelvis and now my Little Wei Jr. in the future, even my asshole could be in danger! Was the lower half of my body facing retribution or something?!






I originally thought that he was the one who had to go to Apollo Hospital. It seemed like the one who needed to go there was me.


With a pair of eyes that were clouded with alcohol, Gu Yiliang watched as I trashed and shuddered on the bed. He probably realised what had happened too, and he sobered up from fright. At a loss for what to do, he drew closer, hugging me as he patted my back.


What’s the point of patting my back?! Was he trying to impart some martial arts knowledge or what?!


I complained, “… Y-y-y-you…”


He was a little uneasy. “I-I’ll practise some more?”


I was terrified. “… Practising…practising on me?”


He was unhappy. “Who else do you want me to practise on?”


Tears rolled about in my eyes. “…Practise, just go ahead and practise on me, practise all you want, up to you to practise in whatever manner you like…”






There was no one dancing with the streamers anymore already. I could no longer dance. If any dancing appears in the future, it’ll all be due to Gu Yilang’s practising.






This smut scene would never be complete.


Despite both people sharing the same intentions, it only resulted in a fiery explosion of the worst sort.


I did not know if the severely injured Little Wei Jr. would be able to regain its vitality. Wanting to cry, but unable to do so, I curled up in the corner of the bathroom, allowing the water to spray haphazardly across my body. I was not in the mood to put on my usual act in the shower, where I would fake cry while showering, declaring that I was too dirty.


Leaning against the doorframe, Gu Yiliang looked at me with a very apologetic expression. “If not… I’ll help you rub it out?”


Me: “…”


Did he think this was a television or what? Just smacking it a couple of times would make it revive?


With dark, lifeless eyes, I sprayed him with the showerhead.






As such, the situation again became one where we were showering together in the bathroom.


His heart was filled with guilt, while my heart had turned into ashes. No matter our actions or interactions, not a spark could be found. We were like an old couple who had completely lost any sexual attraction to each other, yet we still understood each other completely.


With a head full of bubbles, I asked him for the showerhead, and he straight away aimed the showerhead at me.


What was he doing?!


I was most afraid of shampoo going into my eyes. Within a second, I shut my eyes, but then I felt a hand against my forehead.


Opening my eyes, I saw Gu Yiliang’s face leaning in. He was too close to me, and his full forehead and good-looking eyes were like a drawing, embroidered right into my eyes.


Holding the showerhead with one hand, he directed the water towards the side of my head, while shielding my forehead with his other hand, carefully blocking the bubbles streaming down.






He seemed to be watering me like a plant.


I looked at him. The broad-leaf plant at the bottom of my heart shot towards the sun, blocking out the sun and sky in my heart.


I poked at his arm. “Who am I?”


He blinked in confusion. “Yanyan?”


Ok, fine. I said, “Put the showerhead away properly, then lower your head.”


He complied with my instructions, and I kissed him.


His lips and tongue were too soft, his breaths too scorching. I thought about that cigarette I took from his hand that night, realising that things done with the mouth always easily made one addicted to them. For example, eating, drinking, smoking and kissing — as expected, I was a well-learned person.


As such, we kissed, and we kissed.






Condensation slowly crept up the glass surrounding them, as though a thin gauzy layer had been draped over them.


Embracing, hugging, clinging, kissing, to no surprise, something was again poking at me. Gritting its teeth, Little Wei Jr. too struggled to get up as it exclaimed, “Help me up, I want to give it a try!”


Gu Yiliang bit his lip, lowering his gaze and studying me. He had no intentions of pulling away from me.


Hiss — I really was not prepared to turn into ashes. Faltering, I looked at him.


Me: “Why don’t we…”


Him: “Why don’t we…”


We both fell into silence simultaneously.


Me: “Thighs?”


Him: “Hands?”


We again fell into silence simultaneously.






I was the one who lost! And even ended up selling myself!


Spluttering, I turned over, facing the wall. He chuckled lowly, then gripped my waist with one hand, shoving something tenting up between my thighs, while holding onto my Little Wei Jr. that had been plagued with various disasters with the others, as he bent his head down and kissed the back of my neck.


I really lost, and yet I was charmed as well. Placing my hand over his, I followed his action, then grabbed his hand on my waist, nibbling at his fingers in resentment.


However, he seemed to be amused by that. He laughed softly, then teased my tongue with his fingers.


My vision alternated between haziness and clarity, and I did not know if the water droplets gathering on my body were from sweat or condensation. Our bodies bumped and ground against each other, and after some time, we both finally discharged what we had chaotically.






During the entire process of us finishing our shower and falling back in bed, my brain was blank the whole time.


I had really drunk quite a bit. My nerves had been tense, I did not vomit at all, and I experienced a great upheaval in both my soul and body. The moment my head touched the soft pillow, the giddiness from the alcohol surged over me.


Feeling a little dizzy, I reached up to pinch my nose bridge. After a couple of seconds, Gu Yiliang reached towards me.


My head was spinning, and he was not much better. His brows were tightly creased, and he was lying there flat on the bed. In a rather awkward position, he placed one hand on my forehead, massaging my temple for me.


I adjusted him to a side-lying position. “Sleeping on your side will make you feel better.”


He shook his head, turning to lie flat on his back again. “…I can’t keep my alcoholic breaths down. If I sleep facing you, they’ll affect you.”


Oh ho, who was it just now who basically cajoled me, saying he wanted to kiss me? Who couldn’t stop kissing who just now? — The latter seemed to be me.


I ended up choking myself, then I reached out and turned him on his side again. Dragging my pillow, I shifted myself down a little, facing his chest. “Like this, they won’t affect me anymore.”


Nuzzling into the pillow, he nodded, giving in. He even placed his other hand on me, tugging me closer to him.






How warm, how sweet.


It had nothing to do with enjoying fluff, but it had everything to do with him.






People should chat before falling asleep, right? I recalled his odd behaviour during dinner and asked, “You can’t drink, so why did you drink so much?”


“Because…” His hand that was massaging my temple paused suspiciously. “… If you don’t drink, and I don’t drink, where would all the good liquor in China go?”


Me: “…If you’re not drunk, and I’m not drunk, who would sleep on the curb?”


Him: “What a refreshing person. How nice, come, give me a kiss.”


Me: “…. Sure sure sure sure.”


We kissed once.


Him: “Drinking both day and night, one’s future would be bright?”


Me: “… Getting drunk both day and night, one’s life would never die?”


Him: “Correct answer! How great, come, give me a kiss.”


Me: “… Sure sure sure sure.”


We kissed once again.


Him: “Feelings run deep—”


Me: “Enough, you!!”






I had nearly been hoodwinked by the fluff he was dishing out!


I tugged at his face. “Were you… getting jealous?”


He froze slightly, before quietly acknowledging it. Then, he asked, “…Is it very bad to be like this?”


I was left completely defenseless by this attack of sugar from him. My heart bobbed about in the warm sugar syrup that was only a few degrees warmer than my body temperature. Before I could struggle out from my lack of breath to speak, I heard him say, “— Even if it’s bad, there’s nothing I can do about it. It seems like I can’t change it.”






Eeeeee. Fine, a consecutive attack of sugar. I’m dead.






I circled his waist with my arms, and he bent his head down, kissing my forehead. I looked up at him, and he smiled at me. I smiled at him, and he kissed me on the lips.


Everything flowed as smooth as water, accomplished in one sitting.


Me: “Goodnight.”


Him: “Sweet dreams.”

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Alex PT
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0 thoughts on “ISMM Chapter 37

  1. Holy sh** this chapter gave me whiplash 🤣 I kept checking if I missed an update in the meantime, but they really went from 0 to 100 in under 10s 🤣 amazing and glorious and I truly pity Xiao Wei after that ferocious attack 🤣 🤣🤣
    Thank you so so much for the update! 🥰

  2. Even their NSFW scenes are hilarious! 😂 I love how they are awkward and clumsy with each other, being that they were both “straight” prior to this, so it’s only natural that they would be a disaster in bed! Hahaha but the fluff and all the sugar after, ahhh! Thank u for the update!

  3. I just love how light-hearted this is, even their sex life brings a smile and a laugh! Thank you so much for the update x

  4. omg thanks for the food <333 i was basically squealing and shouting the entire chap they’re too adorable i can’t!!

  5. Aaaaaaaah~~~ What is this? Just what is this??? How can they being so funny, awkward, sexy, and sweet? XD
    Will the sober them remember this? I hope they will because Niangzi is riooo!!

    Thank you for the beautiful translation!!

  6. I cannot believe we finally got here! It was so funny and great. This is the only novel that can make me laugh so much.
    Thanks for giving such a great translation of these legendary awkward moments!

  7. …that was not how I was expecting their NSFW to go, but somehow it was completely and hilariously in character. They will have plenty of time to practice. I hope they remember everything when they wake up. Thanks for the update!

  8. »A citizen of Narnia?«
    This cracked me up so hard lololol I’m still laughing hahaha.

    And I’m positively surprised about the bed scene. Normally the seme is just perfect at it, even if it’s their first time (doesn’t matter which part of it) and I always found it laughable. So, thumbs up to author-sama for this :3

    Thx for the ch (ㅅ˘ㅂ˘)

  9. Bruh… This chapter shook me to the bone!!!
    But they’re so cute doing their First Time together… Just so so worried for the tomorrow when GY would finally full sober…

  10. its so cute. my sons were all grown up now. thank you three uncles from the last chapter. also, Wei Jr did revive, right?

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